I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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