He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize