i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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