If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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