Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize