it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i think my cat just said my name.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
