Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize