Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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