Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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