I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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