I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
