He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
