Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
