I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
