I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
