she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
