That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize