8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
