she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize