Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
