New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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