He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
