I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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