Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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