its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
