is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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