Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do vagina's smell?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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