We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
