I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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