I cockslap morals
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
