I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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