so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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