Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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