Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
