the condom got lost in my hair
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
