The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
