Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
