Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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