A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
