I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she peed on how many people?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
