i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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