Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In America we eat man semen.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
