I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
