THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
