I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
