Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
