just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
