got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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