lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
