He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
