plz talk dirty to me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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