spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
