they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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