I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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