I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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