This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
