get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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