he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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