I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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