You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
