Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
