i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
