Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
