Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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